just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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