very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
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you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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