if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip πππ
Your skills amaze me
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize