girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
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