I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
She's the barista slut.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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