Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
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it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
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We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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