shes about as inviting as chlamydia
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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