Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
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