why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
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