eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
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