Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
you had me at cake vodka
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
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Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
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I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize