party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Randomize