Texts From Last Night

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  (720): View more from Colorado

  Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown

  (303): View more from Colorado

  I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.

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  (720): Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown (303): I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself. http://tfl.nu/zmkv
  Replies (44) Good night (8363) Bad night (885)
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  (516): View more from New York

  He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.

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  (516): He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one. http://tfl.nu/wrt6
  Replies (34) Good night (9267) Bad night (852) Order T-Shirt
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.

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  (215): me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk. http://tfl.nu/afjb
  Replies (23) Good night (5520) Bad night (1535) Order T-Shirt
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!

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  (815): I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico! http://tfl.nu/4kc0
  Replies (13) Good night (3584) Bad night (839) Order T-Shirt
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?

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  (973): how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me? http://tfl.nu/anhw
  Replies (8) Good night (5328) Bad night (929) Order T-Shirt
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one

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  (402): i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one http://tfl.nu/cpp8
  Replies (15) Good night (4747) Bad night (1249)
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  (607): View more from New York

  Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?

  (607): View more from New York

  Nevermind, it's in the dryer.

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  (607): Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head? (607): Nevermind, it's in the dryer. http://tfl.nu/r8jx
  Replies (6) Good night (3311) Bad night (773)
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  (415): View more from California

  Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon

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  (415): Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon http://tfl.nu/mt9v
  Replies (2) Good night (528) Bad night (1039) Order T-Shirt
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  (360): View more from Washington

  Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?

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  (360): Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork? http://tfl.nu/kwvt
  Replies (3) Good night (919) Bad night (407) Order T-Shirt
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas

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  (412): It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas http://tfl.nu/da47
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  (907): View more from Alaska

  Can I color on your dick again?

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  (907): Can I color on your dick again? http://tfl.nu/t2pd
  Replies (12) Good night (1190) Bad night (433) Order T-Shirt
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  (571): View more from Virginia

  You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.

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  (571): You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow. http://tfl.nu/1kas
  Replies (5) Good night (1013) Bad night (297) Order T-Shirt
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  (716): View more from New York

  I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.

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  (716): I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects. http://tfl.nu/fv1m
  Replies (1) Good night (1220) Bad night (184) Order T-Shirt
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.

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  (248): in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins. http://tfl.nu/5x9x
  Replies (2) Good night (367) Bad night (371) Order T-Shirt
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.

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  (919): You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober. http://tfl.nu/j9kh
  Replies (0) Good night (296) Bad night (147) Order T-Shirt

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