At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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