Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
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