dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
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pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
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We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
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