I could have mohawked her pubes.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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