He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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