you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
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