its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
40s are totally the cure
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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