Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Randomize