it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I die, sorry about rent.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
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