oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
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