you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
