Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
should my penis look like a turkey
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
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