It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize