when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I feel great
I just peed on a car
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
I just gift wrapped bread.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
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