You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
just tell him i said nine months
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
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