I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Randomize