grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
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