i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize