I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
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