No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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