sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
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I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
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They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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