the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
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