i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
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I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
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you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
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