Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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