I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
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