nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
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