im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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