My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize