The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
Farmville is her only friend.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Randomize