Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
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