I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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