Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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