he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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