My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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