I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
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