My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
We need to rekindle our bromance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
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