fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize